Skip to toolbar

Forgiving Is Better Than Keeping Grudges

In 2 Samuel 14, we learn more about Absalom, King David’s son, and his longing to see his father, but was denied each time he asked. Remember that in chapter 13 he had to flee for his life after his brother Amnon was killed. Where his death came because of him raping his sister Tamar. Yes, Absalom was angry and took it out on David, while having Amnon killed by the king’s men. I am not saying what he did was right. He should not have taken what happened to his sister personally but consulted with God and his dad, the king about it. Sure, taking the virginity from his sister is evil, but it would have been better to have God and the laws of the land take action instead. Now, what Amnon did was very sick, since it involved incest, which God says is evil in His sight. So this now leads us into this chapter, where David sought for Absalom’s return, after speaking with Joab. However, he did not want to see him. Joab had a woman speak with David, but He saw through everything she said and called for his son’s return to the land of Jerusalem. It is recorded that 1“the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again. And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant. So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.” (2 Samuel 14:21-23) However, as mentioned, David had hard feelings towards his son. As it was written, 1“and the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.” (2 Samuel 14:24) Now why David didn’t want to see his son is very strange, but this happens in our day a lot too, when certain things happen in our families that people have a hard time getting over.

The time that Absalom was in Jerusalem, he and his wife were blessed to have children. It is recorded that 1“unto Absalom, there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.” (2 Samuel 14:27) However, even after having kids come into the picture, David was still not seeing, nor speaking to his son. 1“So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face. Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.” (2 Samuel 14:28,29) So something was causing David to ignore his son. What it was, we may never know, but David alone. However, Absalom was very persistent in seeing his father, the king, no matter what. He even sent his servants to set fire to Joab’s field, which they did to get his attention. This is then what happened, 1“then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire? And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me. So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.” (2 Samuel 14:31-33) So David and his son finally saw each other after a few years away, and it was a very good meeting. Now, what can we learn from this? That because of unforgiveness we may also end up in the same situation. That is why it is better to forgive people when they offend us, as God will do for us when we confess our sins to Him. Don’t let your anger or pride cause you to deny a person in your family to be forgiven.

Let us pray:
Oh Lord, help us learn to love those that have hurt us. The weight that people carry because of the heartache they have caused upon people is already too much, for people to then hold grudges against them. If people could learn that as much as we want to be forgiven from You, we should forgive others also, then would this world be a better place. There would be more love in this world and less hate. There would be more joy and not depression. Families would come together and no longer be at war with one another. I know this is all possible, God. However, we cannot do this on our own. We need Your love to engulf our lives, that we may be transformed. So hear our cries now as we confess our sins openly to You. I am praying, but others that are in a family quarrel are also praying right now for help. Here us as we ask You to cast out all the anger in our hearts. Take away our pride and replace it with Your love. Help us to be more selfless in helping others, instead of selfish in what we can gain from people. And fix our eyes upon You, that we may know Your will in our lives, and no longer be fixed on what our flesh wants. I don’t wish to have anyone not find forgiveness from me, especially since I need Your forgiveness each day of my life. So if anyone has caused a rift in my relationship with them, help me be friendly around them still. May the words forgiveness come out of my mouth and in my actions towards them. People need to know that I am also sorry for being hurtful, and I also wish that people will forgive me. So I pray for other people that have also put up walls in their lives because of me, for You to take tear them down, oh Lord. Help every bad situation be mended by Your great love. I love You, Lord. I trust in You. Amen.

2 Samuel 14
12 Samuel 14 (KJV)
1 Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was toward Absalom.
2 And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:
3 And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.
4 And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king.
5 And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead.
6 And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.
7 And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.
8 And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee.
9 And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father’s house: and the king and his throne be guiltless.
10 And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.
11 Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the Lord thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the Lord liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.
12 Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on.
13 And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished.
14 For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.
15 Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.
16 For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God.
17 Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the Lord thy God will be with thee.
18 Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak.
19 And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid:
20 To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
21 And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
22 And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.
23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.
25 But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
26 And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
28 So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face.
29 Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.
30 Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.
31 Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire?
32 And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.
33 So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: