There is a way that seems right to act around our children and spouse, but it isn’t always God’s way. However, it doesn’t have to be difficult to know God’s will for families and how each member of the home should treat each other. Colossians 3 is a great example of the proper order in families and marriage. And if we would simply heed what Paul said, many more families would be getting along, while all the bickering would stop. He said, “wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” (Colossians 3:18-21) And so we have each member of the family spoken of. To begin, let’s look at what the wife is called to do. They are to submit themselves to their husband, even the same way they do unto the Lord in faith. And again this is easier when the husband is also doing his part for the Lord, but if he is not, then this takes great faith and much prayer unto the Lord to accomplish. Only the Lord God can help each woman trust their husbands enough to submit themselves unto them. This can be going the extra mile to make sure he feels loved, and also letting him know that you love him not only in your words but in actions also. This also means to listen and respect what your husband says. It is good to agree with them also when they are parenting, for this causes fewer arguments and contention. There are many other ways that women can submit to their husbands, but the Lord God will help you know what those things are in your marriage.
Now, for the man in the marriage, Paul said, “husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” (Colossians 3:19) This can mean that through the good times and the bad, you continue to love your wife. Even when there are financial issues because of job losses and medical bills because of illnesses. We don’t blame the person, but do what we can to uplift them and love on them through these dark times. And loving your wife could mean going the extra mile to get them flowers, a card, or do something very nice around the house. You could plan a romantic get away also, which I know she will love. There are many things that while in prayer, God will show you how she can be loved even more than she is now. At the same time we are called as husbands to not be bitter against our wives. So if we feel like an argument is arising, try to change the subject or tell begin to complement them. Complementing and agreeing with your spouse changes the mood. It will help the situation greatly. Now, as for our children in marriage, it is written, “children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” (Colossians 3:20,21) Children need to understand that obeying their parents is also honoring God in the same fashion. But also as fathers, and I would also include mothers, we don’t do things to make our kids angry. This causes them to be discouraged and even depressed. So don’t say things that are hurtful, and if you did, tell them sorry sooner than later. And there we have it, God’s laws and expectations for every person in a family. I pray that this helps you.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I pray that we will all do more than try to get along in a family, but learn to love as You love us. Sure, attempting to get along with our spouse and children is the beginning of a change, but the second and most important thing is to let You direct our paths. We can only do so much before our own plans break down and collapse before us. Therefore, we need You to show us how to love one another. Yes, God, we come to You on bended knees and plead for Your wisdom and understanding. Our own thoughts can only get us so far in life without things going sideways. But with You at the head of our everyday lives, we can do all things. What seemed like a lost cause in a marriage and a broken family can all be made new. Yes, God, I believe that broken relationships can become a thing of the past when Your love sets into our lives and others around us. For we won’t help but shine You light for all to see. How awesome will it become when families experience forgiveness, not only from You, God, but from family members and spouses also. In tears of joy will people learn what it means to accept those who were lost, back into our family midst with open arms. Yes, just as the prodigal son went astray and learned how far gone he was, he still returned and everything he had done was forgiven. This shows great mercy from You, as our Father God and also us, when we forgive people in our family the same way. I believe in You, Lord. Help us to truly learn to love our spouse and our children. That there will be no more bitterness and grief, but only joy, patience, and comfort. There is true harmony in our homes when You are in our midst. I love You. Amen.